At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize