Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
