ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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