We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
