Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
