The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
