I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
