those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
