We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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