Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
