Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
