So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize