Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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