Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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