I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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