She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
