remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
