What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You have to summon your inner elephant
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
