:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
