Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize