if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
