she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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