Your face is a jimmy john
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
