Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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