so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize