Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
