No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
