i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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