New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I am one with the molecules
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
