I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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