I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
