i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize