Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
