So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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