I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
