apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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