I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
