bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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