You're so nebulous sometimes
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
