I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
