I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
