All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i was born a porn star she said
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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