I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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