what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
