Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
the gays at disneyland are vicious
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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