My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize