Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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