I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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