white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
