Just fell off a train. Bad.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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