Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it glows. i had to have it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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