There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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