remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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