atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
