I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
