Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
