Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
