So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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