the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I checked into jail on foursquare
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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