I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
