you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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