How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You're like the curious george of whores
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Randomize
