mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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